copywriter & comedy writer

Self-aware, ironic, weirdly funny.

featured in

I have crafted both short and long-form copy for Duolingo, Reductress, and The Onion.

I am funnier than I look in this photo.

At my Duolingo internship, they offered headshots and I took a zillion, but of course the only one that looked halfway decent was the ONE SILLY ONE WE TOOK with Duo’s eyes. So it was either this or ones without Duo where I looked mean. I'm nice, I promise – good copywriter, terrible model.

portfolio

Reductress: I'm Not Afraid of Death, I'm Afraid of People Seeing the Inspirational Quotes…

Reductress: QUIZ: Is This Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Phoebe Bridgers, or A Feeble Bridge?
(This headline went viral and is on Reductress merch.)

Reductress: Keep Your Friends Close, but Not Too Close, and Keep Your Enemies Closer, but Still 6 Feet, so Friends 7, Enemies 6???

Substack: White Lady Frankenstein

I helped come up with this.

See more ad copy

See more comedy

Hi, my name is Danielle. I look like every person who ran middle school cross country.

I am studying copywriting in the Copywriting Portfolio Program at Miami Ad School. Previously I have studied satire writing at The Second City, Catapult, and Brooklyn Comedy Collective, and sketch comedy with the NBC Late Night Writers Workshop instructor, John Reynolds.

I have a background in film, television, and commercial production. Notably, I was an Associate Producer on the independent film The God Committee, which was selected for the 2021 Tribeca Film Festival.

I started my career in a Hollywood mailroom where I bought a coat for Guy Fieri's agent (it was grey). Now, my career goal is to be a copywriter for an agency or brand in Europe.

Hire Me